“I Divorced Facebook”
Yesterday, I honored my own Inner Bottom Line. I got a divorce. I ended an abusive, one-sided long-term relationship. No, it wasn’t easy, and yet, in a way, it was simple. But to do it quickly with clarity, and without hesitation, I knew I had to face the facts and rely on the tools and premises I created so many years ago for my clients of The Inner Bottom Line. First, I asked myself those four, hard, tried-and-true questions – what’s at stake, who’s in control, how long has this been going on, and what price am I going to [ Read More ]
The Cover of the Book
During this season of gift-giving, we tend to get so caught up in the packaging we sometimes overlook the importance of real value. I found this touching dilemma a sad but accurate reflection of how easy it is for us to get caught up in the fantasy and overlook the truth until it’s unavoidable, often painful. Dear Olive, I’ve just returned from a disappointing, frustrating trip to meet someone I only knew through letters and the phone. We didn’t meet online but were introduced by mutual friends over the phone. Since that first chat, when things seemed to just click, [ Read More ]
“Never Soon Enough”
As Christmas approaches and choices become stressful, realizing what we have and how our example can impact those we love grows more apparent. Nothing makes that more evident than this heartbreaking message. Dear Olive, I’m writing in the hope someone else will learn from my mistakes. I’ve been a cheat, a louse, and an all around nasty guy for a long time. I was unfaithful to my wife, I gambled and lied about it, I never missed the chance to make a buck, even at the expense of someone else, and while I’ve never broken the law, I’ve walked a [ Read More ]
“Early Holiday Stresses”
Due to popular demand, I am happy to share once again this letter and answer as we approach Thanksgiving. Dear Olive, It’s fall and the holidays are coming and that makes me nervous. Every year I go through this stress. No matter who I read or talk to, it doesn’t help. This year, I’m even more upset because my folks have planned a family reunion on Thanksgiving. Relatives I don’t remember meeting are coming. My mom loves to organize everything. Yesterday I got a letter listing my room assignment and suggestions about what to wear. I cried for an hour [ Read More ]
“Feast Your Eyes”
“Feast Your Eyes” As the holidays approach, the universal stresses and worries crop up. Here’s one reader’s dilemma that I’m sure a lot of folks can relate to as the big Thanksgiving feast zooms towards us and family gatherings loom. While there are always tons of articles that appear in publications on reducing the stress of entertaining, cooking, serving the big meal, etc. few address the endemic family histories and dynamics that underpin the entire affair. So here’s food for thought. Dear Olive, Thanksgiving’s coming and I’m feeling distressed. After having my second baby last March, I decided it was [ Read More ]
“How to Hold a Pigeon in Your Hand”
It may seem way off target to write a column always focused on ethical dilemmas and personal choices to pen a restaurant review, but really, go with me on this, because it’s completely on the mark. Last night, I had the distinct pleasure of taking my beautiful older daughter and her darling husband to dinner to celebrate their wedding anniversary at Le Pigeon, http://lepigeon.com/, a small restaurant in Portland, OR listed as one of the city’s best. And yes, it certainly is. But it’s also a whole lot more. The restaurant business is considered to be one of the toughest, most unforgiving [ Read More ]
“A Summer of Contradictions”
This has been a summer of odd contradictions. Of people behaving badly and moments of unexpected courage and heart. Moments when a remarkable president stepped up to the podium, unscheduled, without notes or teleprompter, and asked some vulnerable, heartfelt, and hard questions with an intimate candor no president since perhaps Lincoln has revealed. Comments about race in America that cannot be ignored any longer. Questions that should never have been ignored in the first place. And then, just weeks later, another moment in which we find a great athlete sadly standing on the edge of scandal and a lifetime ban, [ Read More ]
“Have We Crossed the Line?”
At least once a day, I am appalled by behavior or comments made by strangers or people I know. Examples of inappropriate behavior, arrogant demands, inconsiderate actions, and blatant disregard for common courtesy, helpfulness, kindness or empathy. But occasionally, on days like today, on the heels of the Zimmerman verdict, and the strong reactions that immediately followed, I find myself deeply ashamed of and gravely concerned for my culture, society and country and the choices and actions that are being taken. From Hollywood to Main Street, America, people are shocked and many are outraged. And now, the latest screaming headline [ Read More ]
“Reinventing A Life”
A very compelling piece of video surfaced today. The three young women who had been kidnapped and abused for so many years while locked away in a house in Cleveland spoke out publicly for the first time. Each face and voice was unique and touching; each smile and word retrieved and honed, I suspect, at an emotional cost far greater and more painful than any you and I will ever be asked to pay. How brave to reveal themselves to the media and world. Yet, in order to move forward and rebuild their lives, how essential. While listening and watching [ Read More ]
“Moving Can Be Mind-Bending”
It continually occurs to me as I rattle around my new Portland flat, trying to figure out the best place to store old and familiar things, how mind-bending a move can be. It’s like going through an intense year-long therapy session that ends up getting compressed into a few stressful weeks. Not only are our materials things, our “stuff,” relocated and re-placed in a different and foreign configuration, kicking up tons of unseen dust bunnies, surprises and confusion, but in the process, if we pay attention, it also stirs up wisps of memories, bits and pieces of nostalgia, even fragments [ Read More ]
NOOMII INTERVIEW WITH OLIVE
COACH FOUNDATION LISTING
